


Life & Death After War (Coping with Grief: A Guide by Zuko & Sokka)

by avatays



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Azula (Avatar) Redemption, Azula deserved better, Everything Hurts, Everything Hurts and I'm Dying, F/F, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, I'm so sorry for doing this, Implied Sokka/Zuko (Avatar), M/M, Minor Azula/Ty Lee (Avatar), Minor Mai/Ty Lee (Avatar), Multi, Pain, Past Sokka/Yue (Avatar), Serious Injuries, Sokka & Zuko (Avatar) Friendship, some side ships in there somewhere
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:20:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24909040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avatays/pseuds/avatays
Summary: Grief was something they all were familiar with. Sokka and Katara had lost their mother and their father had left them as children to fight in a war, Suki was orphaned, Zuko had to lock away his father and sister, Aang had lost his whole culture and his people. Grief was not a new feeling for them.But this. This was different.This hurt more than anything they had ever experienced.Their friends were gone. For good. And they weren't sure how they were going to recover.Good thing they have each other.
Relationships: Aang/Katara (Avatar), Mai/Zuko (Avatar), Sokka/Suki (Avatar)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 85





	Life & Death After War (Coping with Grief: A Guide by Zuko & Sokka)

**Author's Note:**

> hi! this is my first fic i'm posting on this website, and the first ATLA fic i've ever written. this hurt to write but i saw a theory about it and had to do it because the intrusive thoughts told me to.  
> very sokka & zuko-centric.  
> rated mature for a few swear words and heavy topics. just to be safe.  
> anyways, if you're reading this i hope you enjoy it!

It had been two years since the defeat of Ozai. Two years since Zuko had ascended the throne. In those two years, so much had happened.

It had been a time of peace across the world – for the most part. His father was in prison, and his sister locked in a mental hospital, with the threat of the Avatar taking away her bending if she tried anything the only thing keeping her in line. There was a failed assassination attempt by the New Ozai Society, and he and Mai had broken up (and gotten back together) a few times. And that’s only his story, he was sure so much had happened with Aang, Sokka, Katara, and Toph that he simply hasn’t heard yet in the months they’d all been apart.

But a lot of good had happened, too. He’d found his mother, just like he’d always wanted. And he got something he never knew he had wanted as well: a younger half-sister and a step-father. Kiyi was what Azula could have been, if Ozai hadn’t been a horrible father; she was carefree, full of life, always joking. Azula had once been a fan of practical jokes, something Kiyi enjoyed as well. For as much as he loved Kiyi, he sometimes got a bit sad when he looked at her; if only Azula had gotten the chance. He hated having her locked up, but she was a danger to herself and others, and she needed help. But no matter what she did, no matter the fact that she’d tried to kill him (a few times), she was still his sister, and he still loved her.

When his mother and her new family moved into the palace with him a year ago, he thought he’d have to get even more people to help guard them. But the half dozen or so Kyoshi warriors he had to protect him and his family were nothing if not efficient. Even a whisper of an uprising was squashed, and he didn’t have to fear for the lives of those he loved.

After the attempt on his life, Mai had asked the Kyoshi warriors to come work at the palace as personal bodyguards. They had accepted, with half of the warriors staying on Kyoshi Island, and half of them guarding the palace. Zuko had to admit, it was one of Mai’s most brilliant ideas. The girls were covert, strong, and smart. And he had Suki and Ty Lee by his side. After Ty Lee had finished her training with Suki the year prior, she had become an even more formidable foe than she was before. The Kyoshi warriors had decided that Suki and Ty Lee should work with Zuko personally, and Zuko had agreed. He trusted Suki and Ty Lee with his life, he knew their loyalty would never waver, and when they started working there, he felt like he could relax for the first time since he had taken the throne. In their presence, he didn’t feel like he was constantly in danger – a new experience for him, and it felt nice.

During their adventures together, Suki had become a close friend and trusted ally, and Ty Lee had become more than just Mai and his sister’s friend. She confided in him that she wanted to visit Azula, and he agreed to let her; Ty Lee was the only person allowed to see Azula without the workers at the institution having to ask the firelord to sign off on it. He knew that Ty Lee’s visits helped Azula’s recovery. Ty Lee was too forgiving to abandon her friend, and his sister needed one now more than ever.

He and Mai had recently gotten back together, after a squabble over his family had torn them apart briefly. They’d needed a few months apart, but they loved each other. Sometimes he wondered if their union was purely based on politics, since his advisors and even old supporters of his father thought Mai was the ideal Fire Nation woman. He was eighteen, and with Mai almost nineteen, they both knew it was expected of them to get married and produce an heir for the nation and for the throne. They hadn’t talked about it yet, but it always hung in the air when they were alone for too long. They needed to talk about what would happen when that time arose, and they both knew it.

But for now, he was just happy she was here. No matter if they were truly in love or not, he loved her in a way he’d never loved anyone before. She was strong, she was beautiful – she was Mai. And whatever time he could have with her, he would grab with both hands.

When Mai arrived at his door one night, she saw Ty Lee standing guard outside his room. Ty Lee squealed and launched herself on her friend, despite having seen her a few days before. Mai feigned annoyance, but she had the small upturn of a grin just barely there, not that anyone else would be able to see the difference on her face. Ty Lee was her best friend, the only person besides Zuko who would stand up to Azula for her, and something like that really cements a friendship.

The two lifelong friends talked for a few minutes, before Mai finally entered the room. She walked in to see Suki and Zuko sitting across from each other at a table in the corner of the room, tea sitting idly by, clearly cold already, and their faces both set in concentration with a Pai Sho board between them. Suki raised her hand to move a piece, then lowered it with a shake of her head, deciding against it.

Mai could see Zuko getting frustrated. He’d never had much patience, so she decided to spare him. “Hope I’m not interrupting,” she said, her face as passive as always.

Zuko’s face, however, broke out into a bright smile. “Mai! You’re back!”

Mai shrugged, and Suki smiled at her, giving a small wave. She stood and said, “I’ll leave you two alone, if you’d like.” She turned back to the Pai Sho board, and moved a piece with a smirk on her face.

Zuko shouted, “What?!” He’d been defeated. In his more aggressive years, he might have burnt the Pai Sho board to ash, but instead he just hit it, making all the pieces jump into the air and fall.

Suki scoffed. “Such a sore loser,” she said with a fondness reserved just for her friends.

She bowed as she turned to leave the room, and Ty Lee stood there, a fist raised as if she was about to knock on the door. She had tears in her eyes, clutching a piece of paper, a letter that had clearly just been delivered.

They all stood. “What’s wrong?” Suki asked, taking her friend into her arms and sitting her down at the table as Ty Lee started to cry. Mai placed her hand on top of Ty Lee’s, and her friend gripped it tight. Zuko had always wondered if perhaps there was something more going on between Ty Lee and Mai, but it was frankly none of his business; especially now, they had more important things to worry about.

Suki took the letter and read it over, her eyes becoming wide. She sat down, taking a deep breath.

“What is it?” Zuko asked.

Suki handed over the letter as she continued to try and calm herself down. “My warriors, on the island – they’ve been taken. Some Ozai loyalists have taken Kyoshi Island, our warriors have been locked away. There’s no one there to protect the island.” She looked up at Zuko, her eyes pleading with him.

“You need to go,” Zuko told her, giving her the permission she clearly had been waiting for. “We’ll be alright. You need to go back and save your people. I understand.”

“Who will stay here? The other warriors will all want to come, we can’t leave the palace defenseless.”

“It won’t be defenseless, we have other guards. They aren’t as good as your warriors, but we will survive the next few days or weeks,” Zuko said. “I’m not entirely helpless. We will get by until you return, I promise.”

Suki stood and bowed to him. He ignored it and hugged her tight. “Go get your island,” he whispered as they stepped apart.

Mai had taken Ty Lee deep into her arms. She stood, holding both of Ty Lee’s hands gently, saying sternly, “Be safe.”

Ty Lee nodded, and the two girls left to go collect the other warriors. Mai and Zuko were relatively silent the rest of the night, before Zuko decided he needed to send a messenger hawk to their friends to inform them of the development; knowing them, they’d head right over to Kyoshi Island to help. That would hopefully help to assuage the guilt he felt at not being able to go with them.

-

A few weeks had passed since the warriors had left the palace. They hadn’t received any other word about the island, but Zuko’s messenger hawk had returned with the note still attached. He had tried to send another, to no avail. It seems the hawks simply couldn’t find his friends, which worried him deeply. He felt twitchy, like he needed to go to Kyoshi himself.

It was then that a guard came in and told him the warriors were back. He sighed deeply in relief, and he and Mai rushed out of the palace to greet them. There were six Kyoshi warriors, the ones he recognized that were stationed at the palace, but he couldn’t see Suki and Ty Lee. The girls looked grim and beaten. They were carrying nothing with them, except behind them, a cart with two long bundles.

Song Ren, who he knew as Suki’s right hand warrior, bowed to him, which he and Mai both returned. The look in her eyes was something he had never seen on her before.

“Song,” he began, his voice laced with worry. “Where are Suki and Ty Lee?”

A few of the girls choked back sobs. Without their warrior paint on, they seemed so young and vulnerable. What had happened to make them like this?

“When we got to the island, the New Ozai Society attacked,” Song began, her voice wavering. “We managed to fight them off and get to our sisters, but there were so many of them… they took out twenty fire benders, they saved us all, they…”

“Where are they?” Mai demanded, her lip quivering.

“I’m so sorry,” Song sobbed out.

“Tell me where they are!” Mai shouted.

They walked over to the cart. Zuko’s hands trembled. With a shaking hand, he reached for the top of the bundle on his side of the cart, and pulled away the blanket that covered it. Suki laid there, her makeup gone, her eyes closed, her face pale, except for the burns that he could see coating her arms and one part of her face. He heard Mai scream in agony. Strong Mai, stoic Mai, who he had never seen cry in all the years he’d known her, was now sitting on the cart, cradling Ty Lee’s body to hers as she sobbed with abandon. Ty Lee’s face still held the barest hint of a smile, despite all the burns on her body, as if she was trying to comfort Mai even in death.

Zuko let out a cry, flames shooting from his fists as he aimed up at the sky. He didn’t know what he was doing, he hadn’t felt this kind of rage in a long time, not in years. By the time he closed his mouth and the fire stopped, he realized he was still leaned over Suki’s body. He didn’t know how long he had been there. And he was crying. He kept crying until he felt like there was nothing left in his body. He looked up at Mai, still holding Ty Lee and sniffling, her face set like a stone, the only thing different from how she normally looked were her eyes, bright red from crying. Her hand was stroking Ty Lee’s long hair, whispering words he couldn’t understand.

He looked around. It was dark out. The guards had not left the square since escorting Zuko and Mai outside hours ago, but they had turned around, their attempt to give the grieving party some privacy. He laid his hand on top of one of Suki’s, it was somehow completely untouched by burns. The warriors had obviously cleaned their bodies before returning to the palace because there was no blood.

He would catch the people who killed his friends and bring them to justice. He promised. But for now, he had to prepare to send them to the spirit world. Proper memorials took precedent. He squeezed Suki’s hand tightly before turning to Song, who had been crying on the ground beside the cart with the rest of her sisters.

“Did she have a will?” He finally asked the girl.

“No. She was an orphan. She asked for all of her possessions to be split between the warriors, the Avatar and his team, and you, my lord. She had told us you would know what she wanted to be done with her body.”

“She will have a warrior’s funeral,” Zuko said, his voice much stronger than he felt. Suddenly, his heart fell to his stomach. Much softer, he added, “And we need to send for Sokka.”

-

After spending some time in Yu Dao, Sokka, Katara, Toph, and Aang had gone back to Hei Bai’s forest to check on how the land had recovered in their years away. After such a stressful time in Yu Dao, who apparently had refused to deliver messages sent to them as some form of political unrest, it was nice to take some time to admire the nature that had finally began to recover. Sometimes, it was hard to believe all that had happened until that point. Sokka himself was almost eighteen, but looking at Aang, it was hard to see the fifteen-year-old young man he had grown to be in the three years since they had first met. He still saw that goofy kid – although that goofy kid had saved the world. He couldn’t help but admire Aang though. He’d lost everyone and everything he’d ever had, but he still had hope for humanity. Sokka knew Aang’s duty was to save the world, but it was Sokka’s duty to try and keep Aang and the rest of his friends out of trouble – Tui knows they all get into enough trouble on their own.

As they rested that evening, Aang started throwing some food to Appa, Momo trying to intercept it. Toph was laughing at how Aang was scolding Momo, until they heard a squawk, and saw a fire nation messenger hawk descending. Sokka held out his arm, and the hawk landed gracefully. He smiled as he saw the fire lord insignia on the carefully rolled scroll. “It’s from Zuko!” He hollered so that Katara could hear him in the river.

Katara rushed out of the water and Aang stopped throwing food to Appa. They all joined Sokka, and Aang rushed to get the scroll from the hawk, giving the bird a few nuts in payment. Aang was smiling as he unrolled the letter, but as his eyes scanned downward, his smile dropped, and his eyes shimmered. “We… we need to go to the Fire Nation. Now. There’s been an emergency,” he said, his breath short.

“What? What happened?” Katara asked, drying her hair out, her eyebrows knit together in concern as she hugged her boyfriend from behind, resting her head on his shoulder.

“The New Ozai Society infiltrated Kyoshi, so Suki and the other warriors left the palace to go liberate the island. Suki… she’s… They…” he hesitated as he looked up at Sokka, his face full of worry. Katara began reading the letter over Aang’s shoulder. She gasped, and looked up at her brother too.

“What?” Sokka demanded, going forward and snatching the letter from the Avatar’s hands.

“Sokka, don’t – ” Aang began, but it was too late. Sokka was already reading the letter.

_Aang,_  
_I have sent previous hawks but it seems none of them got to you. I hope this one makes it to you, or I’ll have to find you by force. There was a battle on Kyoshi Island, The New Ozai Society claimed it. Suki, Ty Lee, and the other warriors left the palace to save their home._  
_They were successful. But Suki and Ty Lee are gone._  
_We need you to come to the palace. I know everyone must be with you. We need you guys. Please._  
_I’m so sorry._  
_Tell Sokka I’m so sorry._  
_\- Zuko_

Sokka felt blood pounding in his ears. What a cruel fucking joke. Suki wasn’t dead. He had just seen her a few weeks ago. She was set to come visit him in the Southern Water Tribe next month.

Suki couldn’t die. What a ridiculous notion.

He didn’t realize he had been clutching the letter so hard until it had ripped. He looked up. Aang and Katara were staring at him, Toph clearly putting the pieces together on her own, judging by the heartbroken look on her face. Katara was squeezing the younger girl’s hand.

“What?” Sokka said, his tone completely even and devoid of emotion. “You heard him. We better get to the palace.” Without another word, he went to collect his pack and load it onto Appa.

“Sokka,” Katara started. “Are you – we need to talk about this.”

“What’s there to talk about? Now come on, the palace is only a day or two’s trip from here if we hurry.” He said as he climbed up the bison, the same deadpan voice as before.

Aang and Katara looked at each other, but they didn’t know what to say. Toph had started to gather her things, clearly not wanting to move past the denial stage either. They slowly started to gather their things, and soon enough, they were off to the fire nation. Unlike the last time they had gone to the fire nation palace for Zuko’s birthday, there was no happy chatter, no talk of presents as they rode Appa into what used to be enemy territory. There was only silence.

-

“Why would you want to tell Azula?!” Mai screamed as she pushed Zuko’s shoulder slightly, tears filling her eyes again. They stood outside the mental ward, Mai had followed him all the way here to try and convince him not to go in and talk to his sister.

“Ty Lee used to visit her almost every week. She deserves to know,” he said softly.

“She doesn’t deserve anything! She’s the one who had us arrested, she’s… this is her fault!” Mai eventually concluded.

“She’s going to find out eventually,” Zuko continued. “I know you don’t want to come. That’s fine. But I still need to tell her.”

“Why? She doesn’t deserve to know! She’d kill all of us if she had the chance!”

“She’s my sister. And Ty Lee was the only person she’s ever apologized to. Azula cared about her, she’s probably the only person Azula cares about.”

Mai let out a whimper so soft that he almost didn’t hear it – almost. He drew her in for a hug, and kissed the top of her head. “I’ll be out soon. I promise.”

With that, he went inside, leaving Mai alone outside by the balloon ship.

When Zuko finally approached his sister’s room, he couldn’t help but think of how much it had changed. She’d been there for almost two years, and he hadn’t been to see her in… could it possibly have been nine months? A year? Azula had made it quite clear she never wanted to see him again, but he wasn’t here for her. He was here for Ty Lee.

The orderlies stood outside her door as he walked in. He waved his hands, and they closed the door with them outside.

“Zuzu,” Azula said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “What a lovely surprise! Come to pay your dear sister a visit?” Well, he certainly hasn’t missed that.

“I came to deliver some bad news.”

“What? Father finally kick the bucket? Not a total tragedy, really,” Azula said, playing with her nails as she sat on her bed in the uniform white outfit that all the patients wore.

Zuko took a seat at the desk so he was facing her. “No. Not dad.”

“Ursa? I don’t care about her, she’s the one who didn’t love me first!”

Azula was going on the defensive. He needed to get this out, but he had to do it gently. How you tell someone that the only person who still saw them as a person worthy of saving is dead was beyond him.

“It’s Ty Lee,” he began, trying to soften the blow.

She immediately sat up and looked him in the eyes for the first time since he entered the room. “What? Has she finally decided to stop visiting me?” Her voice was a mix of anger and genuine fear.

“No. She went with the Kyoshi warriors to reclaim Kyoshi Island from some members from the New Ozai Society,” he began. Her eye twitched, signaling that she clearly knew nothing of this despite having been apart of the founding of the society designed for political coup.

“Is… is she…” She let the words hang. Her hands clenched into fists.

“I’m sorry, Azula.”

Zuko had only seen Azula cry twice before. Once, when he was six and she was four, when she fell and hurt herself. Their father had scolded her for crying and told her if she was to be a good fire princess, she needed to toughen up. He had never seen her cry again until after their final Agni Kai when she was chained down and defeated. This was different. This was much worse. She let out a howl of pain, her fists letting loose blue flames that caught the scratchy blanket on top of her bed on fire, before it went out. Zuko grabbed her hands to soothe the fire, but he didn’t stop her. He had done the same thing.

She sobbed and lightning danced along her fingertips. Zuko knew he should be frightened at the sight, considering what she had done last time he had seen that, but he only felt sad. She let out the same scream Mai had when she had seen Ty Lee; and the fire that expelled from her lungs was the same blue as usual, much hotter than normal fire, and with a hiccup, she closed her mouth and the heat from the room hung there as the fire dispersed. He grabbed her hands in one of his and wrapped an arm around her as she continued to cry and shout.

“It’s m-my fault!” She cried out. “I d-did this. I f-founded it, I killed her!”

Zuko didn’t have anything to say to comfort her. So he just let her cry it out. And for the first time since they were so, so very young, before their father had pit them against each other, she held onto her brother’s shirt as she cried.

And that was enough.

-

Suki. Sukisukisukisukisukisuki –

He felt like his brain was short circuiting. Sokka had never felt like this. As they walked up to the palace, Toph had grabbed his hand. She never did that. She would hold onto his arm when they were flying, sure, and she would punch him in the leg or shoulder all the time, but never hold his hand. Why was she doing that? He didn’t need comforted. Suki was fine. She was playing another joke. This was definitely more elaborate than others, and more overtly evil. But she was fine. He knew it.

Mai and Zuko were standing at the doors. They both looked so broken. In fact, they had never seen Mai look anything different than her usual stoicism. And try as she might to keep that façade, the look in her eyes betrayed her. Zuko wasn’t trying to hide it, on the other hand. He walked down the steps to the group, stumbling a bit. Aang opened his arms, and Zuko threw himself into him. Aang had gotten to be almost the same height as Zuko by now, something that Zuko was not used to. Toph and Katara wrapped their arms around the two as well. I mean, Katara, Sokka could see doing that. But Toph? Get real. They were obviously in on the joke.

Mai walked over to where Sokka stood. “Do you want to see her?”

Sokka hesitated. He had never heard Mai speak this softly to him. She was always so strong and confident in her words, but she sounded so… defeated. He didn’t like where this was going.

Zuko separated from the group, and he and Mai led them inside, to a room on the second floor. Sokka started to panic. This wasn’t funny anymore. He didn’t like it, and he’d have to make sure Suki knew that. When he got a look at those dark blue eyes, he’d have a few words for her. But he’d also be so happy to see her. It’s been almost a month since they’d last gotten to see each other, and he would forgive her for this bad joke, because he loved her and was happy to see her.

Zuko pushed open the heavy double doors, and Sokka stopped. Everyone else stopped with him.

Sokka saw the two sheets on top of gorgeous golden tables. “Th-this isn’t fucking funny, you guys.” He said, his voice wavering. “Bring Suki out! This isn’t funny anymore, I want her to tell me she’s joking right now!”

“Sokka – ” Katara started, placing a hand on his arm.

He shrugged her off. “Where is she?” He walked into the room closer. “What’d you even do, put clumps of hay under here?” His hands were shaking, and his voice cracked even as he tried to joke.

“Sokka, maybe you should step outside for a minute,” Toph began, her voice firm but her face pained.

“No! They made this whole elaborate prank, I want to see what it’s all for!” He was yelling. Why was he yelling? He wasn’t sure. “What’d you do? Where is she?”

He stomped over to the tables, ready to throw the curtain back on this whole operation. He was tired of this joke. He grabbed the sheet. And he planned to put an end to it.

“SOKKA – ”

Katara’s voice cut off with a choke. Sokka simply stared. Ty Lee was facing up at him, her eyes closed. A huge burn took over almost the entirely of her neck, the faint marking of a hand print in the shape of the burns. It crawled up her face to her jaw. She had her hair braided like usual, and was wearing her pink circus outfit that she adored so much. The same mischievous look and half-smile on her face that she always had.

“No.” He whispered. “This can’t…” He ran to the other table.

It’sajokeit’sajokeit’sajokeit’sa –

“NO!”

His knees buckled when he screamed. He fell down, landing hard beside the table, the sound of his knees hitting the marble floor echoing throughout the large room.

Not her. Not Suki.

He felt a hand on his shoulder, and he heard sobbing, but he felt a million miles away. She looked so peaceful. Her face was so calm. A large wound took up the majority of her torso, and she was so pale. How was she so pale? She’s always so full of life, he didn’t like it. Burns covered her arms, like flaming hands had touched her multiple times as she had tried to evade them. He touched her hair. It was still soft, just like it always was. Her eyes were closed. No, she had to open her eyes, if she didn’t open her eyes, it would mean –

“Suki, please,” he whimpered as he stroked her hair from where he knelt beside the table. “Please, open your eyes, please, I can’t lose you too, please.”

He felt people on either side of him. And his sister’s hand reached out to brush his tears away from where she knelt by his side. How long had he been crying? It didn’t matter. None of it did. Suki was gone. He was nothing without Suki. He was useless, how dare he call himself a warrior. He couldn’t save his mom, he couldn’t save Yue, and he couldn’t save Suki.

“It should’ve been me,” he whispered. “We didn’t get there, and she died because of me. I wish it was me.”

“You can’t blame yourself for this,” Aang said on his other side.

“Yes, I can. It’s my fault. We didn’t get the messages. I could’ve saved her. I may as well have killed her myself.” Sokka pushed himself up, taking one last look at Suki, before running out of the room.

Aang, Toph, and Katara all went to go after him, but Zuko stopped them. He looked at Mai, who was tenderly placing the sheet back over Ty Lee, brushing her hair away from her face as she covered her head. Mai nodded at the door, and he understood. While the other three members of Team Avatar looked over their fallen friend, they finally started to grieve. They’d been watching Sokka’s every move, waiting for him to crumble. And now that he finally has, so can they.

  
Zuko left them alone, and went to look for Sokka. Sokka was impulsive, and had the same self-destructive streak that Zuko himself had, and that’s what worried him. What if Sokka hurt himself?

As Zuko rounded the corner, he heard labored breathing. Sokka was sitting there with his legs splayed out, a hand clutching his shirt-clad chest, sobbing wildly, taking short breaths that Zuko knew weren’t helping. “I c-can’t-t breathe. I-I f-f-feel like I’m drowning!”

“Sokka, I need you to breathe,” he instructed as he sat down next to him. “Deep breaths. Here, pull your legs up, put your head between your knees – good. I want you to do something for me.” Sokka continued crying, his teeth grit tightly, and he shook his head. “You can do it, I know you can. I want you to look around, and name five things you can see.”

“S-see?” He choked out.

“Yes, five things you can see. Please.”

“Th-the w-wall,” he struggled to get out. “That r-rug. The dragon st-statue.” His breathing was coming a little bit easier, his knees still pulled up to his chest. “That tapestry. You.”

“Good,” Zuko praised. “Now tell me four things you can touch.”

Sokka placed his palms flat on the floor. “The floor. M-my tunic.” He reached around to his back. “My boomerang.” He looked at Zuko again, and touched his hand softly. “You.”

“Three things you can hear.”

Sokka bit his tongue to try and get the pain to distract him from the crying. It didn’t work. He decided to go back to playing Zuko’s game. “Th-there’s music. Footsteps. I – I can hear my heart beating really fast, is that normal?”

“Don’t think about that,” Zuko instructed. If Sokka started thinking too hard about his own heartbeat and why he was crying in the first place, he could backslide. “Instead, I want you to tell me two things you can smell.”

Sokka sniffled. “I-it smells like fire flakes. And…” he leaned in. “Your shampoo smells like cinnamon.”

“Okay, now one thing you can taste.”

Sokka focused on that, and could taste something metallic. Had he bit his tongue so hard he started bleeding? “Blood.”

If Zuko was worried about his answer, he didn’t comment on it. “Good. You did really good. How do you feel?”

“I…” Sokka focused on his heart rate. It had slowed, and so had the tears. He wiped at his face. “Better. What was that?”

“It’s a grounding exercise. You were having a panic attack. I used to get them all the time. Still do, sometimes,” Zuko told him.

“I didn’t like it.”

“No one does, that’s why you did the exercise.” Zuko sat against the wall now, no longer facing Sokka. “I’m so sorry,” Zuko began softly. “I shouldn’t have let her go.”

Sokka was quiet for a moment, before he said, “It isn’t your fault. Suki would have gone even if you said she couldn’t. It probably would’ve made her even more determined to go.”

Zuko smiled fondly at the thought. “Yeah. That’s Suki.”

“I feel like it’s my fault, though,” Sokka started. “I promised I’d protect her. When we went through the Serpent’s Pass on our way to Ba Sing Se, I promised I’d protect her. She said she didn’t need it. But I still just… maybe if I was there…”

“Maybe you would’ve died, too. We can’t possibly know what could have happened.”

“Maybe.” Sokka stayed silent for a while, drying his tears, before adding, “I don’t know if I can do this again.”

“Do what?”

“Fall in love. I’ve fallen in love with two people my whole life. And they’ve both sacrificed themselves to save others. Even Ty Lee said she used to have a crush on me, and she’s gone now, too. Maybe I’m cursed.”

“Sokka, I promise, you aren’t cursed,” Zuko began, grabbed his friend’s hand and holding it tightly. “And you deserved better than this.”

“Yeah,” Sokka said softly, squeezing Zuko’s hand back. “So did Suki.”

-

Ty Lee’s family had come to pick up her body. Seeing six identical Ty Lee’s show up was too much for Mai to bear, and she had locked herself in her room. When Zuko went to check on her, she had asked to be alone and told him to go to Suki’s memorial. So he did. He knew his friends needed him down there, and he wasn’t going to let another friend down.

Suki’s memorial was bright. The sun shone like it knew it was Suki’s last day. They were giving her a warrior’s send off, one all the Kyoshi warriors received. They were at the water, Suki’s body wrapped in golden silk, her face uncovered, on a small wooden boat, twine and flowers surrounding her.

Just as Zuko was about to step into the water, he heard, “Wait!” Sokka turned and ran away for a second. They saw him come back, and he was holding a beautiful red lily. “They were her favorite. They aren’t usually in season, but…” Zuko nodded, and Sokka waded into the water until it was up to his knees, and he carefully placed the flower on Suki’s chest.

Sokka looked at her one last time. She looked beautiful. Katara had done her make-up. She was wearing her warrior make-up. That’s what she was. A warrior. But she was a girl, too. And she deserved so much better than this. He leaned forward and kissed her forehead, closing his eyes to stop the tears. _One last time_ , he told himself, as he pictured her dark blue eyes, burning them into his memory so he never forgets them, as he stroked her hair out of her face. He pressed his forehead against hers, took a deep breath, and took a step back. Zuko had gotten into the water, and gently covered Suki’s face. When Suki was fully wrapped up, they got back out of the water.

Their friends and the Kyoshi warriors all stood around, as Uncle Iroh began to speak. “It is always hard to say goodbye to someone you love so dearly. Suki was a warrior, a leader, a fighter, a lover… and a friend. She was family to so many. A broken heart is something so fragile, and it is not something to fully recover from. But in that heart is where the memory of your beloved friend will live, forever. It’s like a broken leg – you will always be reminded of the pain in your leg when you walk, but you will learn to dance with it anyway.”

Iroh nodded at his nephew, and Zuko pushed the little wooden boat into the sea. He heard sobs behind him, and with a newfound purpose, to give Suki the send off she deserved, he sent a stream of fire towards the boat. The boat caught fire quickly as it floated further into the water. Zuko stayed in the water. A hero’s goodbye.

“The dead never truly leave us. Their spirits live through us. We will live every day for her, in her memory. Because Suki was one of the purest hearts any of us have ever known – and she would want you – all of you – to be happy.”

There was nodding, crying getting louder. There was silence as they watched the boat. Finally, the fire disappeared from view. The boat was gone. And so was Suki.

After a little while longer, people began to migrate back to the palace. Sokka was sitting in the sand as the sun began to set.

“Do you want us to sit with you?” Katara asked, Aang, Toph, and Zuko all beside her as they looked at him.

“No,” he said with a shake of his head. “I just want to be alone with my thoughts for a little bit. I’ll come in soon.”

The group nodded, Katara and Aang giving him a hug before they walked off, Toph going in to punch his arm, before she stopped and held his hand for a moment instead. Zuko clapped him on the shoulder and squeezed tight, a silent promise to be there when he got back inside. When the four left, the moon had finally risen.

A full moon. Of course.

He took a deep breath. “Yue, I know I failed you. I failed Suki, too. But I hope wherever she is, she’s with you. You guys would have been great friends, I’m sure. You were both the bravest people I ever knew. Still are. Always will be, probably. Wherever she is, I hope she’s happy. I hope she knows I love her. I hope you know it, too.”

The wind picked up. Out of the corner of his eye, he could swear he saw a flash of white hair, and then those dark blue eyes. He could feel the faintest memory of a kiss on his cheek. As his eyes welled with tears, he laughed. He smiled.

They were together. If he couldn’t protect them, at least he knows they can protect each other.

**Author's Note:**

> so there's this theory that's been going around for a week or so that the creators allegedly said (unconfirmed) that suki died a few years after the series ended, since we don't see her at all in "legend of korra." then someone said that (again, unconfirmed) ty lee died at 16.  
> this obviously hit me because if suki died a few years after the show ended, and ty lee died at 16, it would've been two years after the show. so it occured to me they could've died together, as kyoshi warriors, because that's the only way suki would ever go down in my eyes.  
> we never learn any of the other kyoshi warriors names, so i named Song Ren after the word "sòngxìnrén" which google tells me translates to bearer in chinese, and song was the story's "bearer of bad news."  
> i tried to keep everything as in character as possible and tried to keep to the timeline, forgive me if i messed up.  
> i haven't written in a long time but rewatching ATLA like 12 times in the past month has really reinvigorated me creatively. anyways, i really hope that you guys enjoyed this! please let me know if you liked it or not or what you think of the theory in general! xo


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